GayCarBoys Afloat: Carnival Spirit 3 Night Cruise

What better to get someone who has everything than a 3 night short cruise on Carnival Spirit?

Carnival Spirit was launched in 2001 and is now based out of Sydney. It cruises the Pacific locally and internationally. If that sounds like fun, it is.

It’s like one of those tacky all-inclusives the Brits are so fond of.

Before You Sail:

Well chaps, there is a bunch of stuff you should do before you board your tub.

First, sort your on-board credit. Doing it after you sail means battling random yobs in a conga-line at the customer service desk. The line is longer than the Equator.

Worse still, everyone is hell bent on getting to the bar for a bevy. At least they aren’t pissed drunk while actually waiting in the line. That would be a disaster.

After you board:

There is a safety muster first thing. Just as well. They didn’t do that on Titanic and, well, the less said about that the better.

Life vests and rafts sorted, those who haven’t arranged their credit will head to the service centre. The rest go straight to the bars, which neatly sets the tone for the rest of the journey. Most people are well behaved if swaying a little.

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Leaving Port:

Since the government has done nothing to halt climate change, and the Australian East Seaboard is on fire, the smoke haze cloaked Sydney. The abominable smog was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. It thinned once through the heads. We left port around 4.30pm and arrived back to disembark at 7.30am on the 4th day. No breakfast for you!

At Sea:

We discovered to our delight, the side of the ship nearest shore still had cell signal. Hoorah!

We set our phones so they didn’t cross to Marine Roaming. That would cost you your first born with calls at $5 a min in and out.

By the way, “POSH” means Port Out Starboard Home left over from the days when crossing the Atlantic was a thing.

That would also mean you had signal the whole trip.

Our trip hugged the east coast heading north towards the Queensland border. During the middle of the 2nd night, Captain pulls a Uie to head back to Sydney.


We sat comfortably on our balcony. We paid a little extra for the “extended balcony” which was a bit that stuck out slightly because deck 5 was wider than those above. Another bit went underneath the part where the captain steers from. In other words, most of it is completely useless.

There was nothing for it, we got a couple of large voddie and lime, and sat in our deck chairs.

There are very many bars, and we tried them all, once we were fed.

There are no drinks packages for shorter voyages. Otherwise, you can get them for about $70 a day. Believe it or not that is a huge saving. One very stupid (but hot) 21 yo spent an amazing $2,400 on his 3 night adventure on booze alone.


Binge eating is included in your cruise price. There are pay-to-use options, of which we did not partake.

A large area is set aside where everything from burgers to pasta can be had. It all closes down after dinner but pizza can be had 24hours a day.

It would have been nice to enjoy a tasteful bite on our balcony but the food would be stone cold be the time you got it back.

If you expect fine dining, you’ll be disappointed. It is RSL quality at best.

The main dining room has a 3 course a la carte menu but like the other dining rooms, you can eat as much as you want. I had 2 starters because they were so delicious. The fish main was adequate and the puddings werep[assable.


There are things to do such as the enormous casino, bingo hall, and comedy club. As well as that, your cruise director organises a host of activates like 80’s, and White, themed parties.

Mostly you’ll probably just bum out by the pools.

There were those who seemed to be in the casino every time we passed through it.


The notion of swimming is a misnomer. There is room for a paddle but you’ll be surrounded by screaming kids.

One of the main pools has an outdoor theatre, but the place for me was the Serenity Bar and Pool on the Poop Deck. Over 18s only, but that did mean our drunk 21yo’s were present. As pretty as they were, the quickly wore on one’s nerves.


Our trip was around $650, but that is only the start. We got insurance for $110 for 2. Once on board, drinks were bar prices which quickly racks up a hangover-sized bill. I bought wine by the bottle, for $33 a throw. Most cocktails were around $12.

Bingo was $35 each, and there are onboard shops to spend even more money.


The rocking gets really old, fast. If your cabin mate snores, you’re in for a world of hurt. There isn’t much to do late at night so take a laptop with some movies.

All in all, we had a great time and I’d do it again in a heartbeat, RSL feel, or not.


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