My Favourite LGBTI Car of 2022 is….

6: Nissan Z is a sexy-AF machine that is low-slung, urgent, frantic, and a complete arse-kicker. The 9-speed auto is cool and relaxed,. The interior is unpretentious to compliment a smooth uncomplicated look on the outside. It is worth the dosh, and with only 2 seats, there are no hangers-on.

The launch control is always on while you’re in Sport Mode, HOORAH.

The rear-wheel-drive is such a breath of fresh air with just enough loose-goose around back to make things interesting. Code brown moments aplenty make sure the driver is always paying attention.

You drive it, it doesn’t drive you.

5: BMW M440i Gran Coupé screamed like a banshee and cornered cat on carpet. It had the precision of a scalpel wielded by a heart surgeon on Molly, but is ruined by safety systems that insist on slapping you upside the head every 5 minutes.

I love BMW, but like all the posh brands, a lot of what’s standard in entry level cars, is an extra in luxury brands. It fits like a glove and that is its ace card.

4: LEXUS LC500 Convertible is a huge scoop of OMG in one big sexy, unapologetic package. It is touchy-feely, where acres of cow are festooned about the cabin with gay abandon. The engine is loud, and with the roof down there is nothing better.

The little glass air deflector between the rear seats is utterly useless but that is part of the charm. Apart from the fuel pump recall, LEXUS is a brand that never lets you down. It has that rarest of rare qualities, it makes you feel like the Queen (sorry, King now that the prize idiot Charles is in the big chair).

3: Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrifoglio is something you don’t have to apologise for at dinner parties. It has that flashy sparkle of a Ford Mustang without the bogan overtones. Alfa has always evoked thoughts of driving along a cliff-top road that twists its way down to a village clinging to a cliff above the Mediterranean.

The delicious cabin cocoons the passengers the same as it did in the 60’s. It is dinner suits, martinis, cigars, and casinos, at warp 10.

2: Volvo C40 is an EV with attitude. It is more attractive than its XC40 sister, and like many EVs comes in AWD or 2WD (front or rear). C40 brings Swedish class inside and out, but the real reason it is one of my favourite cars is the delightful human/machine interface. Google Android OS is not to be confused with Android Auto. It is a complete operating system that allows the driver to interact with a complex car in a way that makes life easy. Voice control, activated by voice or button, gives control over a bunch of functions to make life even easier.

They aren’t cheap, but EV batteries cost a motser. It is a fact of life we have to live with until someone invents cheaper power storage solution.

1: KIA EV6 gets the gong as my favourite EV, and my favourite car for 2022.

Before you all start writing in about the shortfalls of EVs, save your breath, and your time. There is simply no argument against EVs that holds up. Sure, there are holiday queues for charging for those poor saps who can get volts at home, but so what? There are lines at petrol stations too.

EVs can charge from 100% renewable, there is nothing to service unless something breaks, and they outshine every ICE vehicle in the price range when it comes to performance.

EV6 has a hint of SUV, a bit of hatch, a touch of sedan, and a smidge of coupé about it. It is one of the fastest charging EVs around, if only ChargeFox can get its act together. The 350kw ultra-fast units are few and far between and are almost always broken.

EV6 is sexy on the outside, modern and efficient inside, and nippy in traffic.

As things stand, it is hard to get 500kg of batteries not to effect handling but it is something we are going to have to get used to.