Normally we shove a bunch of blokes into the car of the week and head up to the cottages, a trip that has become known as “Cottaging.”

In this week’s weekend diary, we took a mini road trip to the farm:

Unusually, this week saw 2 cars make the mini road trip, Max’s Range Rover, and my New Nissan Z. The Nissan had more people in it than Dame Nellie’s dressing room on closing night. Everyone wanted a go.

Dear David, an old, old, old, old, friend insisted on coming the second he heard a bunch of attractive young men were having a weekend away. He has a rather down-at-heel stone house on the banks of the Parramatta, high above the highest flood levels, as he recently discovered quite by accident. Despite that, there is always enough time to look at other pretty things.

David’s distinctively loud voice comes from projecting to the back of ancient theatres with poor acoustics. It was also David who pointed out that cottaging, our term for visiting the little settlement on Max’s mum’s farm, was actually an English slang term for gay men having sex in public toilets. You’d think that would make us select another term, but instead we cracked open a fancy bottle of red to cement our ignorance.

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ABOVE: 2023 Nissan Z

It has been uncharacteristically cold, with evenings needing a fire.

The roads have taken a terrible beating from torrential rain and those dreadful earth-moving trucks. it was nothing a half-dozen gay men couldn’t tackle on the promise of a pair of Hill Of Grace waiting to be opened upon arrival. Just to be difficult, David prefers fizz, so he raided Max’s mum’s fridge. She is like Patsy and Eddy. The only thing she keeps cold is her face cream, and 2 cases of Dom. Oh, and David’s full title is Sir David, Baron de Featherstonehaugh (pronounced Fanshaw)

Those in the Rangey missed a fabulous ride in the Nissan Z. The manual makes wonderful use of the bends and twists, particularly those nearest the farm. The front digs in, to bring the back around as a slingshot out the other side. It is nothing short of magnificent. Oh, and the LAUNCH CONTROL is always on, when you’re in Sport Mode.The highway stretch was dispatched with alacrity, but the Range  Rover simply can’t compete once high-speed cornering is needed.

After each had a turn in the Z, we agreed that even an elderly gent could be helped into the passenger seat for an hour of fun.

Top 10 Best Things:

Max:

1: Sexy looks, will a killer arse-end

2: a sultry sound from the gorgeous V6

Ethan:

3: a retro interior that isn’t a tragic pastiche

4: delightful clutch and gearbox.

Casper:

5: a lively rear that steps out just enough on tight corners before catching itself tidally

6: a cosy cabin just big enough for 2, and a couple of soft totes.

Nico:

7: Makes the passengers feel special

Raffie:

8: Bose sound is great, but could use a nicer head unit with wireless CarPlay

9: awesome ride even on crappy roads

David:

10: bloody cramped, and I nearly spilt my bubbles, and there is no room for “Trick” (this week’s young bit of fluff)

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