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4 Boys, a Genesis G80 and a Roadtrip – Genesis G80 Review

gaycarboys - Alan Zurvas

4 Boys on a Genesis G80 Road Trip

I had the Genesis G80 for a week. The film was in the can, story written, and the world was right. But, the boys had different ideas. Max, Ethan, and Casper, came around for champers and nibbles late Sunday morning. With coffees made, croissants buttered, and table cloths spread, we sat on the terrace, high above Sydney’s bustle.

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“I know, let’s go up the old road and have the fizz at Wisemans,” Casper said, through a mouth full of French pastry.

In a thrice, a small basket was in the boot, and we were off.

The road north of Sydney is fraught, to within an inch of its life. It only takes a tiny bingle, and the road backs up like a constipated hippo. For that reason, we chose the old Pacific Highway. It winds through the suburbs, then opens into bend after beautiful bend.

Ethan grew up not far from Wiseman’s Ferry, and took us along the river to his secret spot. There we sat, the Genesis a few metres away. Max squealed as the boot magically swung skyward. He’d been standing near the arse end of the car with the key in his pocket, and a few beeps elicited a grand opening.

Above: This Week’s VIDEO Car Review -2021 Genesis G80 3.5T Luxury

Above: This Week’s VIDEO Car Review -2021 Genesis G80 3.5T Luxury Parking REMOTELY, No Driver ON Board

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ABOVE: 2021 Genesis G80 plus Genesis GV80 SUV with Michael Clarke

Here’s what the Boys thought:

Casper:

The handling is astonishing. 0-100 in 5.1 seconds, yes please. This is one of the few times I’d rather be in the back with a glass of bubbles and a movie on the screen, than behind the wheel. I love gadgets. Gadgets are my life, well, that is, gadgets and champaign. The first person to mention Grindr gets a biff in the lug.

Put the side and rear blinds up, and have a nap.

Max:

Every man deserves a bit of something nice at the end of the day. If you don’t fancy a bit of rough, try something smooth. Look, G80 is going to be for an older crowd, the chairman of the board, or a doctor. If my dad had one, I’d want to snitch it whenever I could. People definitely notice it.

I like a smaller car, but this will do.

Ethan:

I like big wheels, big engines, and big speed. G80 does that with knobs on. The seat cooling is fabulous, and the big screen for HUD, driver dials, and infotainment is brilliant.

I wouldn’t call the handling sporty, but it is very luxurious, and I like that a lot. Funnily enough, everyone looks rather attractive when inside something a bit edgy.

You really stretch out, even in the back, and I love the sunroof with two shades that meet in the middle, like a piece of fine furniture.

Oh, and it will park itself, even with no driver on board.

The Car:

Genesis started life as a not-so-humble Hyundai model before being spun off, as Toyota did with LEXUS. It has had a slow start, but that hasn’t stopped the Koreans from forging onward regardless. Early Genesis limos found homes with hire car drivers, and seemed doomed to suffer the same fate as Caprice and Fairlane, as unloved, unwanted examples of a dying segment.

So, why then has Hyundai persevered?

Two reasons: one, the segment has little competition, and two, G80 is complimented by the GV80, an SUV sibling. That could be the saving grace. SUVs are booming.

Each new Hyundai generation showcases just what design and practicality can be had, on a budget. $99,900 is big bikkies in anyone’s language, but when set against the Europeans, seems like a snip.

Once you’re over the fact that that you don’t have a German or British badge, a new, more reliable world, opens to you. Try googling Euro brands some time, and see what you find about reliability.

The exterior is a cohesive melange It is a triumph of graceful, arching lines. LED lighting arrays glow eerily as they perform their complex dances. An enormous shield grille is big enough to play football on, and the fastback rump harkens back to the halcyon days of the Rover SD1.

While SD1 was a hatchback, G80 is, despite the look, a sedan. The boot is 424L, with a ski hatch for longer bits and bobs. No, the seats don’t fold down, you bumpkin!

The Cabin:

What a calm and soothing place it is.

Five different colours of leather or nappa, are tastefully mixed with either eucalyptus or olive ash timber trim. The tasteless shiny Hollywood glitz of private jets and super yachts has been banished. Instead, the wood trim is “open pore” with the natural lustre of a hand-crafted look.

Seats have heating and cooling, and those in front can opt for the gentle cats-paw massage, designed to stretch and revitalise.

Sound from Harmon’s Lexicon speakers is like a night at the Opera House, sans the crappy parking shemozzle. It is controlled from the centre console dials that looks like something from the Museum of Modern Art. If you prefer, you can input directly through the 14.5” touch screen. Apple CarPlay/Android Auto and DAB sound spectacular, with adjustments that tailor things to personal tastes. That’s fun with 4 people demanding both more, and less bass, and treble that is both more tinkly, and less.

The driver has full LCD instrumentation and a widescreen HUD for good measure. The latter projects 12” worth of colour data up onto the windscreen, like in fighter jets.

Rear travellers have touch screens mounted on the rear of the front seats, with another centre console controller in the armrest. They have the same controls as the front screen, with and added video function. Dead posh, that’s what that is, but that’s not all. Rear passengers can raise the rear privacy screen by button, and side screens manually, for that cosy “Bieber has arrived,” look.

Metal highlights have a delicious knurled look and feel. Facets play with light, and have a tactile aspect, turning a common control surface or indicator stalk, into an artwork.

We fell in love with it, just a bit.

There are way too many gizmos to list, so CLICK HERE FOR A SPECIFCATION SHEET

The Drive:

G80 is more sophisticated than her predecessors, in so many ways. The modern design has sandpapered over the rough edges of older models, and the cabin is crisp, clean and very cosy. To make the drive all it could be, Genesis added AWD, an 8-speed automatic, and a thrilling 3.5L V6 engine, to a tight chassis. There is a 2.5 4 cylinder too, if that’s your thing, but, nah.

Ride is wafty and regal, and the fancy electronic dampers monitor conditions to change personality in the blink of an eye. Suspension is multilink front and back for a spot of extra control.

You can change drive modes to a Sport setting that gets you to 100kmh in 5.1 seconds. With 279kw/530Nm of power, it is a real V8 wolf in V6 sheep’s clothing. The boys prefer firm ride, and the handling like an F1 car, but that can be so tiring on anyone one’s nerves.

20” wheels come with sticky Michelin Pilot Sport4 S tyres, that make your face peel off in corners.

Brakes come in for a special mention too. They’re super sharp, and work with the nannies to keep things tidy. AEB even works in reverse to add another layer of security.

G80 is BMW 5 Series/Audi A6 size, and you can feel the 2035kg heft in corners, despite the engineering telling you otherwise.

We got to 110kph, where inside voices could still be used. In fact, the cabin was almost silent. Our trip, as short as it was, took in beautiful rolling hills and highways. The road surfaces varied from magnificent, to “oh dear me, what have they spent their money on?”

We crossed small fords, and took corners at a comfortable, yet brisk rate. G80 took everything we threw at it without turning a hair.

Ethan read through the features list as were hurtled through rural New South Wales at an Olympic pace. He was impressed by the automated steering functions. It keeps you centred in the lane, will also steer out of an accident, and will try to stop you from changing lanes into traffic if it is unsafe.

Conclusion:

We have come so far in such a short time. New features are added year by year, and G80 has the lot. Korea is now at the forefront of safety, engineering, and manufacture. Their cars, once cheap and cheerful boxes you settled for because you were broke, are now object of desire. Their allure is only one good marketing campaign away from eclipsing Germany. Let that sink in for a bit.

Car: 2021 genesis G80 3.5

Engine: 3.5L Turbo V6 Petrol

Power: 279kw/530Nm

Econ: 10.7L/100k, 95ron, 73L tank

Price: $99,900 (+$13,000 for luxury pack)

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