2020 BMW 281i Gran Coupe GayCarBoys REVIEW

BMW Feels compelled to fill every single auto niche with an offering, and the 2 Series Gran Coupe sits where the 4 series Gran Coupe once did, at the bottom of the BMW 4-door-coupe range.

Germans have been madly scribbling car designs on the backs of napkins since way before autobahns were installed by Adolf Hitler. Once decent roads made high speed travel a reality, they needed cars that could take advantage of them.

The BMW catalogue reads like War and Peace. There is a car for every occasion.

The 2 series Gran Coupe is for someone who doesn’t need the head banging nonsense of a full-on M car, but fancies something on the rarer side. It is perfect for a second car. It might even be for someone who wants something different but absolutely must have a BMW badge. There are a lot of those about.

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The 4-cylinder obviously has more pull, but we tested the plucky little 3-cylinder turbo petrol to get an idea of what it’s like to want a better car, but to be too poor to afford it.

Was it horrible?

In short, no.

To begin with, I grumbled about a “pathetic” 3-cylinder engine, and I moaned about a double clutch gearbox, and was incandescent about a front wheel drive Beemer. I was in a bad mood because I thought the exterior was a big old bag of compromises. I couldn’t find a nice thing to say about it, apart from the badge.

I tried the rear seats, and banged my head getting in. My feet got jammed in the door opening, and the headroom inside gave a 6-footer, a severe case of neck cramp.

The boot was too small, and the front door too short.

It still has i-Drive, which I really don’t like much, and the seat coverings, meant to look sporty, just manage to look nasty and cheap.

I was in a terribly funk.

Above: This Week’s VIDEO Car Review -2020 BMW 218i Gran Coupe

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ABOVE: 2020 BMW 218i Gran Coupe

What changed my mind?

I expected a soporific experience. I couldn’t have been more mistaken.

I drove it for several hundred kilometres. Slowly, the clouds cleared. Birds started to sing, and happy, gay,  music played in the background.

The handling was all manly. The suspension was tighter than an Irishman’s wallet, and the throaty engine had more than a touch of Frank Sinatra about it.

I began to take this entry level German seriously.

See all the specifications at BMW HERE:

How did it drive?

We pushed the little Coupe where it had no right to go. You get a very good vibe from the chassis. It feels like it wants to go harder.

The little 1.5L 3-cylinder has a fairly modest output of 103kw/220Nm. Let’s keep that in perspective. My old 1991 E36 318i had 83kw and just 168Nm from its 1.8L 4-cylinder. It was about the same size as the 2 series, but took 11.3 seconds to get to 100kph. The 218i Gran Coupe does it in just 8.7 seconds.

The acceleration is more than acceptable, and ride is firm. All 2 series GC’s come with M Packs which means 19” wheels, and “sporty” suspension. That usually means they’ve ruined the ride so it can go around corners at warp 10.

Our drive took us through the M5 East tunnel and out of Sydney towards Picton, deep in the heart of rural New South Wales.

After a tasty light lunch, we took a whole bunch of different roads to give the ride a good workout. Dirt roads were nowhere near as terrible as you’d think. Highways were quite sublime.

There is more than enough poke to overtake, but you need to plan. The 7-speed double clutch automatic gives good change. It is just snappy enough to feel like you’ve gotten your money’s worth. You can use manual mode but there are no paddle shifters on the pov model, so, you have to move the selector to change up or down.

Corners are fab fun. It begs to be taken by the scruff of the neck and thrashed, just like a BMW should.

You don’t have to sacrifice performance just because you’re poor!

What gadgets does the 281i Gran Coupe?

It has oodles of stuff. The wide-screen infotainment screen takes touch input, or you can use voice control. There is the I-Drive dial too and it has a track pad on the top of it. It is too distracting to use on the move, so leave it be.

8 quick access buttons will store navigation, radio stations, and all manner of things you might want as “favourites.”

There is single Zone climate control, and really cool smart entry. You can go completely hands-free. It locks as you approach, and locks as you walk away. There are pads on the door handle to lock, and the inner handle surface unlocks, if you’d prefer the tactile experience.

AEB is standard, as is active lane control, but cruise control is just the old run-of-the-mill type. That’s a shame on a Beemer of any kind.

Blind spot monitor is standard too, as well it should be.

The centre console has drive mode buttons, the start button, and a wireless phone charger. Apple CarPlay is also wireless, but Android users have to wire up to a USB port.

The driver dials are on a big LCD screen, and another set of data projected onto the windscreen, fighter-jet-style. I love me a good HUD.

How does the cabin feel and look?

The doors are a trifle too bijou to make access easy for a taller person.

Back seats are cramped. With the driver’s seat set for me, my knees were so tight, they could have pressed wild flowers. Short trips would be fine, but you’d be looking forward to a tasty cold beverage when you got where you were going.

Once in the front seats, it is all good. There are tons of lines, swirls and corners. After being in Audis for a few weeks, BMW interiors look slightly manic. You quickly adapt, but that seat upholstery looks like a cross between snake skin, and a wet suit. It is meant to look sporty, but I don’t think I could live with it.

The rest of the trim feels good to touch.

I like the way the cockpit is angled towards the driver. Even the large centre LCD seems to nod towards the most important seat in the house.

Sound from the speakers is more than adequate, and controls will be familiar to other BMW owners and are just where they should be.

Conclusion:

I am still not cool with the looks.

I can’t make a case for a 4-door coupe since the 1 series is such a cracker. I feel the same about the 4 and 6 series 4-door coupes, and the X4 and X6 SUVs. The range is stupidly complex.

Having said that, it is different stokes for different folks.

A taller owner is going to find getting in and out a trial, with the back seats being more or less out of bounds.

On the bright side, performance is brisk enough for most people, and fuel consumption is excellent. Ride is firm but fair, and after a few hours behind the wheel, any minor niggles melt away.

2 Series Gran Coupes are every inch a BMW, and after a long spin, I had to eat my words, more or less.

BMW 218i Gran Coupe $49,990

  • 5L 3cyl turbo petrol
  • 103kw/220Nm
  • 9L/100k
  • CO2- 135gm/km
  • 0-100 – 8.7 sec

Options fitted to our car:

Enhancement Package – $2,900

  • Metallic paintwork
  • Panorama Glass roof
  • 19-inch M light alloy wheels 552 M Bicolour Jet Black

Comfort Package -$2,300

  • Comfort Access
  • Seat Heating for driver and front passenger
  • Lumbar Support for driver and passenger
  • Electric Seat adjustment for driver and front passenger

MRLP with options $55,190

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