Miss Laya de Campe Talks About All New Land Cruiser Prado

Darlings I’m Laya de Campe, star of stage, screen, and the only sequined site in the woods; a legend in my own mind.

In this Prado article, expect words like “fabulous” and “glamour” to emerge in an arena usually crammed full of testosterone and sweat. Oh, I need a moment!

Ladies and gents, queens and kings, boys, girls and the chronically bewildered, prepare to be dazzled by the all-new Toyota LandCruiser Prado! (For a moment I thought they said Prada, which would have been a marvellous gingham-blanketed, gin and tonic match darlings. But, alas….)

The daring diva is there to serve sir’s every whim, whether strutting down the Oxford St. or sashaying into a cinematic sunset. The thrifty V-Active technology, and a fabulous new flagship, give off-roading the style it deserves. Is it my imagination or is toyota giving the FJ Cruiser another lashing?

Make way, darlings, the next-generation LandCruiser Prado has its OZ grand entrance in just a few months, with guest books opening by the end of August. Get your handbags ready, because this boasty-pantsed beauty takes stellies (or sensible flats) to the summit n back.

Underneath the glamorous exterior lies the heart of a gym-bodied twink. The LandCruiser Prado’s new platform, driveline, and traction control systems are as comfy on a red carpet they are getting all dirty and wet. The glamorous “Altitude” gets the top gong with its underbits able conquer any terrain with style and grace. Pitch your tent anywhere you like darl; I like a well-pitched tent.

ABOVE: 2024 Land Cruiser Prado Altitude and Kakadu

Let’s talk about the V-Active technology.

While it might sound incongruous that a sparkling drag star could ever be caught outdoors, think again. I have fully bedazzled luggage and I’m not afraid to use it. I haven’t been this excited since I got a 10” wedge caught on the accelerator of a Mustang Bullet. My tuck got all tingly when I heard about the “hybrid” 2.8-litre four-cylinder turbo-diesel. The chorus line at Toyota purses their lips when that word is mentioned, odd since Toyota loves a hybrid or two. Perhaps they don’t want to confuse a cocktail-and-canapé crowd, but that’s what it is, a hybrid. A hybrid uses dinky little electric motor/generator thingie to give the engine a boost with power stored in a purse-sized battery. I don’t know why Toyota is so tetchy about people saying it’s a hybrid, so let’s don’t say hybrid again, hybrid, hybrid, hybrid, hybrid (oh damn, my lashes got stuck in the ctrl/V shortcut button).

The hybrid (oh bugger) improves fuel economy, reduces CO2, makes for a smoother drive and adds more punch to the performance. Those nasty old tailpipe emissions get a makeover too, thanks to the fabulous AdBlue fluid additive. A 17.4-litre tank of full of the stuff mixes with exhaust gases, burning at scorching temperatures to break down those nasty old nitrous oxide emissions, you know, the ones some brands have lied about.

Sean Hanley, Vice President of Sales, Marketing, and Franchise Operations at Toyota Australia, knows how to work the crowd. “Australian buyers have always adored the rugged off-road performance of the LandCruiser Prado,” he says. “The new Altitude grade takes that performance to new heights, allowing customers to explore further than ever before. And with V-Active technology, you’ll enjoy a smoother ride and potentially lower fuel bills. How’s that for a grand entrance?” Or, words to that effect.

The Altitude isn’t just about perky hybrid (bugger, again) performance; it’s about turning heads with its gorgeously chunky design and mechanical marvels. Like Freddie-the-Blender’s trick jaw (don’t ask him to show you, because he will), this bucolic beauty has a stabilizer disconnect mechanism (SDM). Flicking a button (mindful of the fake nails) gives your wagon 10 glorious percent more wheel articulation than its predecessor. In short, you can cope with bigger things. You can lock and unlock the front stabilizer bars as much as your little heart desires, giving your elicit retreat maximum ground contact, and a smoother ride on uneven surfaces like Asbestos Julie’s face. And don’t worry, darlings, the SDM automatically re-locks at certain speeds to keep you cuddly and safe.

Rear-wheel grip gets a fabulous (oh shaddup, I’ll say fabulous as much as I want) upgrade with a locking rear differential only the Altitude model. Queens are always going to buy the best, right? Not that I know what this means, but apparently there is a solenoid actuator that can engage the diff lock (WTF is a difflock?) in no time, reducing engagement time by 85 percent compared to the previous model. I don’t drive off-road, I get a big, butch, flannelled friend called Mitch to do it for me. He also puts the fairy lights in the trees for me, and does quite a nice line in “brekky eggs Florentine over an open fire”. The Altitude has 265/70R18 Toyo Open Country all-terrain tires, which is like putting spikes on sequined wellies.

But wait, there’s more! Mitch would be ably assisted by LandCruiser Prado Altitude’s off-road driver aids, like the six-mode Multi-Terrain Select system (with Auto, Mud, Sand, Dirt, Rock, and Deep Snow mode) , and Multi-Terrain Monitor (MTM) that always has the right camera angle. Even Mister DeMille would marvel at the brand-first back underfloor view. Who hasn’t used a camera to see in awkward spots.

On the mulga-lined open road, V-Active technology (aka mild hybrid) uses a 48-volt lithium-ion battery, DC/DC converter, and motor generator, to lower fuel use to 7.6L/100km.

Not that Mitch would dare take me through water (the only water I like is with Scotch), but the motor generator is set high in the engine bay so as not to get its feet wet. It gives Prado (I keep getting that auto correct, what’s that say about me?) a 700mm wading depth, and assists during acceleration and gathers and stores wasted energy during deceleration.

Toyota has finally ditched their decrepit old six-speed automatic in favour of a splendid new eight-speed torque converter automatic. It is terribly important that a butch 4X4 is stiff, the stiffer the better. Toyota’s rigid TNGA-F platform is as stiff as a board which not only makes for better rock climbing (shudder), but increases towing ability to a fabulous 3,500kg, 500kg more than before. Frankly people, the only thing worth towing is a make-up cart with champagne holder.

So, darlings, the all-new Toyota LandCruiser Prado is not just a vehicle; it’s a statement of your butchness. If you don’t have a muscled Mitch, flannel-up your own deferential flunky as available. Picture yourself as Lord Brett Sinclair camping (make sure you watch it to the end) in his chandeliered marquee and you’ll be nigh of the mark, roughing it in splendor in your own Priscilla moment.

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