Things I hate most when I’m driving: 07 Caravans!!!


Whose monumentally stupid idea was it to allow cara-bloody-buggery-vans on the road. When I go on holidays, I don’t inflict it on everyone else one the road. I don’t do 90 in a 100 zone or 80 on 100kph single lane roads do I? No!

I have never been able to understand the allure of towing a few tonnes of ironmongery behind a wheezing V8 diesel Land Cruiser, or an ancient Rangie. On my recent trip I saw some idiot towing a van the size of Tasmania with a Toyota Rav 4. I can’t tell you how awful it was to drive behind him for 25k’s because there wasn’t a passing lane to be had. I’ll no doubt cover road works later on, but the RTA thought it was a marvellous idea to do 5 consecutive lots of road works on the passing lanes. 5!!!! Can you believe the stupidity? By the time the dual lane road started, the line stretched back for several graceful kilometres. There was one very unhappy truckie who gave the grey nomads a terrible scare when he passed within centimetres of the slightly unstable van. He went passed so fast that the caravan was left rocking side to side like in a bugs bunny cartoon.

Of course this was a patently unsafe thing to do, but the selfish pensioners drove for many moons without a care for anyone else one the road. Does this sound intolerant? Yes? Well that’s just a bit tough isn’t it? We passed several hopeful fixed speed cameras. With not a flash to be had beyond the headlights of cars being driven by irate travellers, our speeds varied between 10 and 30 kph below the limit.

These inconsiderate menaces should be run out of town forthwith!

Written by Alan Zurvas

Alan Zurvas is the founder and editor of Gay Car Boys, Australia's leading LGBTQI+ automotive publication. Before launching GCB in 2008, Alan's automotive writing was published in SameSame.com.au and the Star Observer. With over 16 years of hands-on car reviewing experience, Alan brings an honest, irreverent voice to every review — championing value and innovation over brand loyalty.


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2 responses to “Things I hate most when I’m driving: 07 Caravans!!!”

  1. Linda Van Uitregt Avatar
    Linda Van Uitregt

    Ooooh, I’m going to buy a caravan and wear a hat while driving with it on the back. Hahaha! Seriously, they drive that slow because they cannot control the van going any faster. Dad helped a friend relocate a van from Ballina to Sydney years ago and they took Brian’s Charger. Dad drove like a bat out of hell with no wobbles from the van. Brian drove like an old man and every time he got over 50mph the van would start to wobble from side to side on the back. I’m not advocating driving like a bat out of hell (although I used to enjoy it before speed cameras) but your other topic of driving skill fits in here nicely.

    1. gaycarboys Avatar

      LOL…. I remain unconvinced. If the grey nomads must infest the roads with their whims, perhaps they could drive where they are going then rent a van to stay in over night. At least they wouldn’t be clogging the roads up. As I have pointed out many times, it’s never a younger driver who tries driving off the end of a car park or down the stairs in a shopping centre. The classic was that old guy who claimed his cruise control had come on when he was trying to park his car. Of course it can only be switched on and that can only happen at 45kph or more. That would mean he was parking very fast and if he had used the brake as a lot of us do, it would have switched off. I’m afraid I don’t really think that’s what happened do you?:)

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