Is Audi A4 allroad Better than an SUV?
Yes, it is better in every way. Let me explain.
Despite Australia’s ongoing obsession with all things SUV, car makers keep a fleet of plucky passenger carriages in their fleet.
Once, men drove SUVs. They were big, and butch. They wanted to show their masculinity in ways other than hanging a massive pair of testicles on the rear-view. The Paris Hilton-sunlgass-wearing-soccer-mums came along, and things all went to shit.
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Schools, the length and breadth of the country, were chockers full of honking great SUVs parked at jaunty angles. The school pickup had turned into a blood sport. In the posh suburbs, it was made worse but drug dealers in AMGs and M’s. Dear god what a schemozzle.
To make matters worse, most older SUVs handled like a bucket of porridge, had the sex appeal of a desiccated Liberal voter, the performance of a bowl of petunias, and drank like drag queens.
Oh how things have changed. A discerning buyer realised that he didn’t need to corner at warp ten, and never went further afield than than washing the car on the footpath. That’s not to say there won’t be a grassy slope at the polo match to contend with, and there is the sports gear to consider, but I digress.
So, to the Audi.
Audi A4 allroad is an absolute belter. It has all of the things you want in an SUV, but none of the nonsense that goes with it. There is a ton of room inside, but you don’t have to worry your pretty head about knocking the paint off on low hanging carpark signs.
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ABOVE: 2020 Audi A4 Allroad 45 TFSI. Audi A5 45 TFSI Convertible
The Looks:
A4 is a bit of an understated stunner. Go on haters, hate.
A4 is the one who sits quietly in a corner of the bar. A4 gets loads of drinks bought for it, and never goes home alone.
A4 is no tart, oh no.
A4 is dressed smart casual. Nothing is over the top. The front end is lit with a veritable Christmas tree of LEDs. The headlights are fully automatic. At night, the high beam turns on and off as if by magic.
The rear is similarly strewn with a litany of LEDs. Audi has always done a nice line in lighting.
Wheels look huge, and at 18” are big enough to be going on with. They’re deeply dished, with a 5-spoke V design. Highlight inserts in graphite, sparkle in the sun.
Matching grey plastic arches are a nod to off-roading aspirations. Better to scratch those than the dent the duco on the driveway at your country pile in the highlands. It sits slightly higher than the regular A4, just in case the muddy drive hasn’t been fettled.
Roof racks in polished aluminium, glint rather too attractively. It gives the roof that final bit of jewellery, like a tiara with an LBD.
Audi A4 allroad looks expensive, but unassuming.
The Cabin:
A5 has the same delicious interior as the tasty A5 Convertible we drove a few weeks ago. The A5 has a bit more stuff standard, but what really annoyed me was A4 missing out on the cool in-belt microphones. I was gutted!
A4 has machined aluminium trim above the full width front vents. You get air exactly where you want it. The tri-zone climate control has a sync button so you don’t have to chase temperatures around every control in creation.
Just to fall over at the final hurdle, Apple CarPlay requires a USB connection, which is a bit of a drag given the wireless CarPlay in a Q3. The LCD central screen is high definition and gives fast responses to touch inputs. The driver also gets a full LCD display, and an HUD for good measure. Sadly, the HUD, along with most of the active driver aids, is an option. What a crock.
The options pack, with all the good stuff in it, costs a princely $3,770. That is an outrage. While we are at it, the silver paint job is another $1,990. (see details below).
Rear seats have a blind on their windows for added privacy. Just the ticket for a nap on a road trip, or any other naughtiness that comes to mind.
The cargo hold is generous and is accessed by waving a foot under the bumper, like you’re doing the hokie pokie. If you don’t have the key secreted about your person, there is a rubber button instead, and all the connotations therein.
Audi interiors are known for being both discrete, and comfortable. And A4 is certainly that, and I love it all the more for it. The lines are smooth, and there is a light touch to the design. It is chic, airy, and super comfy.
The Drive:
6 cylinders are almost as dead Donald Trump’s presidency. A4 has the turbo-4 drivetrain from the A5. There is a 2.0L petrol engine, QUATTRO AWD, and a smooth 7 speed S-tronic automatic. Power is a modest 183kw and 370Nm, which still manages a 0-100 of 6.1 seconds. So, A4 Allroad is no slouch, but will still do 7.1L/100k, so who needs a V6 right?
A4 Allroad is a cruiser.
It will hum along happily at 110kph all day and all night. Steering keeps you centred in the lane, and the auto high beam keeps on-comers undazzled.
The option pack also includes Active Cruise Control, and AEB that can see around corners. Queue assists takes the worry out of traffic jams, but my guess is you finish up doing that bit yourself. She is a little slow off the mark, and smart arses keep jumping in the lane ahead of you. She not is quite smart enough to see that, and unless you hit the anchors, trouble may well come.
You swan along in regal splendour, with nary a care for the outside world.
A symphony is playing on speakers that do a decent job of concert hall-like performance.
Conclusion:
Peeps will poo-poo my position, but I love the Audi A4 Allroad. Is it a pleasure, but purveyors of performance will still feel the urge to tie a tattered testicle to the rear-view. To them I say, bugger off.
It can’t go far enough off-road to satiate campers either. Let’s face it, Audi owners think 4 people sharing a bathroom is roughing it, so I doubt anything other than glamping would do. And, when I say glamping, I mean a 2-room suite at the Four Seasons.
For everyone else, Audi A4 Allroad is all things to all people. It does nothing badly, and most things, very well indeed.
Price: $72, 900
Drivetrain: 45 TFSI quattro / 7-speed S tronic
Power: 183 kW at 5,000 – 6,500 rpm
Torque: 370 Nm at 1,600 – 4,500 rpm
Acceleration: 0-100 km/h in 6.1 seconds
Fuel consumption: 7.4 litres per 100km
Exterior colour: Floret silver, metallic
Interior colour: Black
Options
Metallic paint: $1,990
Assistance plus package: $3,770
–Adaptive cruise control with stop and go including traffic jam assist and distance indicator
–Audi active lane assist – when activated helps the driver stay in the lane by gentle corrective
steering intervention and through steering vibration
–Audi pre-sense front – provides extended collision warnings up to the maximum
vehicle speed
–Collision avoidance assist – provides additional support to the driver with supporting
steering torque in critical situations where the driver initiates evasive action
–High beam assist – switches automatically between low and high beam
–Turn assist – monitors oncoming traffic when turning right at low speeds
–Head up display – in colour with speed, navigation and assistance information
–360 degree cameras – 4 wide-angle cameras cover the entire area immediately around the
vehicle, providing a range of different views for even easier manoeuvring
–Park assist – helps to steer the vehicle into a parallel or perpendicular parking space
Price: $72, 900
(with options fitted $78,660)
Tags:
Audi, Audi A4 wagon, Audi Australia, gay audi, gay camping, dog friendly suv, family car, gay favourite, luxury station wagon, gay camping, awd audi, audi quattro

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