Every week, we sacrifice a car to the dual gods of city traffic and country roads. This week’s victim is the 2025 Prado Kakadu. Regal, floaty, ethereal—like sliding on a cashmere cloud while sipping a martini stirred by angels. In comfort mode, the suspension feels like a cruise ship in a nasty swell, swaying gently while keeping you smugly oblivious to potholes. The engine has a tiny battery-powered electric motor whispering, “Don’t worry darling, I’ve got this.” Not a full-on hybrid EV extravaganza, but enough to make you feel superior at the lights.

The haunting began on day two. A neighbour texts: “Your tailgate is open.” Tailgates don’t just wander off, people. She closed it, but without the key, it couldn’t lock. I dash down to the garage: sure enough, the Prado is unlocked. I double-checked, relocked, felt virtuous… and the Prado giggled.

Above: This Week’s VIDEO Review – Reviewing the 2025 Ford Transit Custom Sport LWB Dual Cab

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ABOVE: 2025 Prado

A few days later, déjà vu strikes in public. Inspect the hatch. Suspect the tiny glass window. Open, close, lock. Repeat. Surely all is normal… but no. The Prado is scheming.

Then came the near apocalypse: shopping done, hatch locked, trolley returned, I glide through the half-empty Coles Waterloo carpark. Suddenly, a little man appears, flailing like a tiny kung-fu master on caffeine, shouting incomprehensibly in a heavy Chinese accent. My tailgate had popped open AGAIN, ready to assassinate a Meriton Centre sprinkler. Disaster narrowly averted. I owe that man my eternal gratitude, plus maybe a barista latte.

No setting, no mode, no logic can explain this. Land Cruiser forums confirm: I am not alone. The Prado has developed a mind of its own, somewhere between Casper the Friendly Ghost, Loki on holiday, and a teenager discovering TikTok.

What’s next? Will it start ghosting my groceries into the wrong bags? Reorganising my rainbow car fresheners by mood? Maybe it’ll open a side hustle selling haunted SUVs on eBay. Whatever it does, I am officially terrified and enamoured.

Stay tuned, brave reader. The Prado Kakadu is alive… and possibly mischievous.

Full Review and Video to come so stay fascinatingly gripped and grippingly fascinated.

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