Queensland is renowned for the extremes of its sweaty-palmed summers, Niagara-ish storms, kilometres of bogan-strewn beaches, and fabulous driving roads.

The world’s population is becoming highly urbanised. The is certainly true of Queensland, with most of its sweaty residents huddled between the Sunshine Coast airport, and Gold Coast airport. With Brisbane at the centre, the distance is little more than a few hundred kilometres. Importantly, all of the stops along the way are 100% gay or gay friendly, despite the overdose of bogans and gronks. Keep an open mind though, some of them are hot AF.

Brisbane has no city beaches, so a short drive north or south rewards you with the smell of salty waves, and the sounds of the wind gently whistling through the She Oaks. But wait, there’s more: if the idea of sand up the clacker doesn’t appeal, you can spend the day on some of the state’s best driving roads. There are tasty lunch spots, farm shops, stunning views and gorgeous rolling valleys, laced together with magnificent black threads, best enjoyed with friends.

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ABOVE: South East Queensland Driving Destinations (hover for details)

The South East

South East Queensland is crowned by its capital, Brisbane, known as Brisvegas to locals. To the north, Bribie Island’s soft, quiet lifestyle temps the retired. Moreton Bay is dotted with islands accessible only by boat, however the whole thing is a muddy affair. This may be great for fishing, but a bit stinky at low tide.

Also close to Brisbane are the glorious mountain ranges, national parks, waterfalls, and many picturesque stops where you can snap shots of outstanding natural beauty. There is nothing more calming than the smells and sounds of a Queensland rainforest. Enjoy them, while you can.

Forest Drives:

Mt Mee, Dayboro and D’Aguilar rest along a strip of road favoured by bikers for its superb twists and bends. The brave can venture further, through Kilcoy and along the eastern side of Lakes Somerset and Wivenhoe. That scenic sensation will return drivers to Brisbane via the utterly fabulous Mt Glorious and Mt Nebo.

The tourist drives are clearly marked, and there are loads of side roads to explore. Each village has its own personality, with a ton of picnic spots where a decent spread can be had amid the ancient forests. There is nothing quite like a chicken sandwich and a glass of fizz downed to the symphonic call the Bell Bird and Whip Bird.

Beach drives:

To the north is a stretch of beachy stunningness beginning at Caloundra, and ending at Noosa Heads. The Sunshine Coast now has many freeway-like roads, but hugging the coast rewards drivers with tasty turns and Pacific vistas.

Beware: locals often drive at half the legal limit with few places to overtake. “Itsa no matter”, as Con the Fruiterer used to say. Sit back and enjoy.

The “hinterland” of both the Sunshine and Gold Coasts are worth day trips in their own rights. Up north, turn right off the Bruce Highway to Bli Bli and through to Noosa, or Left into the mountains and valleys beyond. The Nambour road leads to Mapleton and on to the beautiful Montville. It is worth taking the side trip to Maleny for a lunch with a view.

If you’re not the eaty-snappy type, take the Steve Irwin Way north back to the Sunshine Coast, or South to Brisbane. Steve Irwin was a local personality and naturalist killed by a stingray in 2006. In his honour, the Old Bruce Highway was renamed Steve Irwin Way. It is hard to believe this 2-lane road was once the main route north.

Steve Irwin Way winds through luscious farmland, and the ancient Glasshouse Mountains. Don’t forget to take a pic of Mt Tibrogargan, which looks a little like a crouching ape. The 27 million year old volcanic formation is one that climbers adore, and at its base are BBQ spots galore.

The Scenic Rim:

The Scenic Rim is a breath-taking area of outstanding bucolic loveliness. Boonah, a place my family seemed to populate single handed, is close to Lake Moogerah and Lake maroon, dams of watersporting fame. Like the rest of our suggested jaunts, the road surfaces vary from fab to fucꓘ€d. That doesn’t make those snappy twists any last scintillating.

From there, you can head to the often-foggy Cunningham’s Gap, via Aratula, or back towards the Gold Coast. Springbrook and the Natural Bridge are worth a stop. You’re now in the Gold Coast Hinterland, an area of outstanding natural snobbery.

To see how the Electrified X-Trail went, our review is in an around brisbane which, although not a pretty as the places we took in in this story, is where it will get most of its use.

Gold Coast Hinterland

This Gold Coast Hinterland region stretches as far as the boarder with New South Wales. Places to explore include the Tallebudgera and Currumbin valleys. If you’re brave, try the Gold Coast Springbrook Rd. Slightly north is Mt Tamborine, very popular with day trippers from Brisvegas.

The swimming holes along the meandering creeks are very pretty on a hot day, if you get what I mean. If that doesn’t give you yearnings in your gentlemen parts, nothing will.

The Gold Coast:

The City of Gold Coast is the 2nd most populous city area in Australia, behind the City of Brisbane. Many might be surprised to hear that. The area served is huge, and includes the coastal fringe from Coolangatta, north to Southport and inland to the Scenic Rim and as far as Logan, on Brisbane’s southern edge.

For Gold Coast, think Las Vegas by the Sea. There aren’t a lot of nice drives on the coastal strip itself, but the beaches are a nice look. Sure, there are many, many retirees with skin like Egyptian artifacts, but keep your keep your steely gaze fixed upon bevy of hot men men wearing little more than their imagination and a hint of Chanel Bleu.

Your grindr will be spinning like a top, so do keep eyes on the road, not the load.

The End

There you go my darlings, in a nutshell, there are a ton of lazy day drives. Stay overnight for more fun, or if Grindr has been pinging, several bits of fun.

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