The boys and I took Toyota’s Corolla Cross Atmos “up the cottages” as it is now called. It was unexpected, given the varying heights of the bums on the seats.

Corolla Cross Atmos AWD is their top shelf offering at the entry level SUV bar. It doesn’t look much like the hatch/sedan sister, with all that extra height  trying to make it look slightly macho. Even all that manly ground clearance doesn’t make Corolla Cross look much butcher. There is just something really girly about it, pleasing some of the sisters no-end, and making others giggle incontinently.

The full review will follow, so here is our brief precis.

We took 2 cars, with each whining bitch having a steer, 6 in all. It seemed wise to have 3 in each car, any more, and slapping happens. Here are their thoughts:

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ABOVE: 2023 Toyota Corolla Cross Atmos Review _ What the boy weekend away taught us

Charlie:

I still have dad’s old Citroën DS Pallas, a palace on wheels. Anything else feel like riding a BBQ down a cobbled street, so Corolla Cross Atmos felt sub-par on anything but a billiard table surface. It’s a hybrid, so it has that going for it, but I didn’t much care for the half-arsed attempt at EV-dom. And before you ask, yes, the DS Pallas is now electric with 400km of delicious silent, zero-emissions range.

Corolla Cross Atmos didn’t have a head-up display, and the Qi charger didn’t like my iPhone.

On the bright side, even though the rear electric motor for the AWD is little more than a a token, it copped a fanging up the muddy track to St. James’ Palace. All of Max’s cottages have now been renamed after famous gay cruising spots, and St. James’ is always reserved for Alan, AKA the God Father. It is set slightly above the other cottages and the small rise hasn’t yet been paved. Last week we got a front-wheeler bogged. Say no more. Corolla Cross Atmos scampered up the path like a rat up a drainpipe.

Raffy:

I’ve always driven like I stole it, and the Corolla Cross Atmos is a bit tame. I was looking for something shoddy about the little SUV but it was super comfy. My only complaint that was as good as the audio was, the wireless CarPlay was sketchy.

The drive was great but we are all spoiled by the magic carpet in the Citroën.

I loved chucking the Corolla Cross into corners, which it gobbled through like a packman on acid.

Travis:

I like practical transport. I drive a RAM to pull my 5th-wheeler trailer, so the Corolla Cross Atmos was like being in a classic Mini. It was light, and I liked the hybrid EV setting.

As for looks, it is a bit bland, but bland is good. It won’t date like some cutting edge appliance.

It was fun, but 50 grand is a boatload of dosh.

Luke:

I love Corolla Cross Atmos. It is a great package, and the AWD felt slightly more agile than mum’s Mazda CX-5. It felt livelier too, even though the figures say something different.

There was enough room in the back for a bunch of bags, a bevy of bottles, and sundry select sweets.

It was a nice change to a big barge.

Casper:

It was strange not having Max nearby to bitch at. We were hooking up at the cottages, with him on site doing renovations.

I got a steer of the Corolla Cross Atmos, something I expected to loathe. I was in a bad mood with that shambles of an AUDI RS6 still fresh in my mind. I’m in a KIA EV6 GT now, so everything else feels like camping. The Corolla Cross Atmos felt slow, but the ride was comfortable and soothing. By the end of my time, I felt calm and reassured.

Alan:

146KW is modest, but $50,000 is not, and that is how many of our Australian dollars you need. The range-topper has a sunroof, good audio, an easy infotainment system, and enough space for the weekend detritus 6 gays will need. OK, we split our gear over 2 cars, and much of it is now left at the compound. All we take is booze, food, and clothes to change with those up north.

The on-board driver aids are right up the with the best, and the lane trace assist is gentle yet accurate.

The drive modes could use an off-road setting of some kind, but it did itself proud. Only one of us said otherwise, and he really dislikes Toyotas, and that’s ok. Horses for courses and even set against others in its class, Corolla Cross Atmos is pricey but well equipped.

Price: $50,030

Engine: 2.0L hybrid

Power: 146kw

Trans: CVT

Econ: 404L/100k

Tags: 2023 Corolla Cross Atmos review, gay campers, gay suv

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