A Weekend with the boys: 2021 Jeep Compass Night Eagle

I got the boys together for a gay family outing in the Jeep Compass Night Eagle, and here’s what happened.

Ethen, Casper, and Max are gay, 20-something professionals, and they know how many beans make four. The eclectic bunch like a bit of a sports car or a hulking SUV. Ethan is a Range Rover aficionado, Casper likes classic Mercedes convertibles, and Max, who still lives at home, puts all his spare cash in to clothes and his 1965 Mustang.

I thought, if I am forced to go away for a weekend we may as well have something pretty to look at, right?

With this pool of limited automotive talent, what does the cashed-up-youth market make of the small, American SUV?

Get the FULL LIST of specifications HERE: compass spec sheet

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2018 Jeep Compass Trailhawk

ABOVE: 2021 Jeep Compass Range (Trail Hawk Shown)

Ethan: is a happy camper. He likes nothing more than to trap unsuspecting volunteers in to weekends with no cell reception, no toilets, and no bloody fun. However, it is worth it because he really is a hoot, and a great cook.

Casper: is the son of a diplomat, went to a posh school. He hates his first name so much that he insists on using his nickname, Scrumpy, and name given to him by the similarly entitled chums at school, for his love of cheap home-made booze. We will not be using the name, Scrumpy. It sounds like something from the bottom of a pond.

Max: is a country boy from the hot and dusty outback. The ‘Stang was left to him by his coal-mining dad. Mum works as a school teacher, so Max helps look after his 5 siblings.

Now that you have the lay of the land, you’re eager to read on, right?

Our Trip:

We headed out along the road north, deep into the green of the Australian countryside. Ethe, as I am wont to call him, has a bladder the size of a pee. See what I did there?

His stops extend any trip by double, but he is so cute, no one seems to mind.

In fact, the team look like escapees from a GQ cover. We took turns peddling, with me starting off. Only 40km out, Ethe needed to walk in the woods. While he was away Max turned the passenger AC to Sahara, and Casper filled the water bottle with Scrumpy, google it!

Poor Ethen spluttered like a 50’s Italian sports car once we were back up to speed, causing an eruption of youthful excess. After some severe eye-rolling, I screamed that I’d put them all out if they didn’t pipe down. I’ve officially become old.

After 100k, Ethen took the reins, and immediately had to stop for yet another wee.

He knew a nice quiet glade where the gingham cloth could be spread out without ants and wombats chasing us off. Casper does decent cooking, and has a huge basket. His big basket had wine, cheese, and all manner of dips, meats, and a large range of home-made savoury baked goods. most imprantly, there were chocolate brownies for pudding.

We parked the car at the end of a lane, the kind that axe-murderers favour. Luckily, the shaded patch was just a short mince away. By the time we set up, it looked like a scene from a 50’s French film, minus the silly accents.

We were all driving, so only 2 glasses each, of French fizz were sipped.

Maxx sat with his feet in the creek, while Ethan strummed his guitar. Who the hell brings a guitar on a picnic FFS! Casper and I played mother, dishing the delights with the fervour of bespec’d dinner ladies.

After eating enough food for 10, we played a few rounds of 21. Who knew time could pass so quickly?

The Cabin:

This is what an SUV should be doing on its time off, taking friends for a weekend away.

It was getting dark by the time we rolled in to the drive. When I say drive, it is actually a 6km private road through a farm. The cabin, atop a small grassed hill, used to be a shearer’s bunk house. Ethan’s mum is a dab hand with a paint brush, so I expected great things from the family weekender.

As we drove past the pond, the muddy, tree-lined lane turned to gravel, and on in to the “inner yard”, which is fenced to keep the alpacas out, yes, I said alpacas.

We had charged our phones in anticipation of the off-grid cabin being sans power. A potential weekend of graceful solitude was anything but. A solar array, small wind turbine, and 50,000L tank, supplied all the comforts of home.

At first glance, the sublimely Australian exterior of rusted corrugated iron, and slightly pealing paint, didn’t bode well for a comfy weekend. We stopped at the bottom of a short flight of steps, but It was now dark, and only Ethan knew where the key and lights could be found. He took the stairs in a single bound, padded across the verandah, and flicked a switch.

The mood went from moonless night in a field, to Hamptons Cottage in spring. The garden, trees, verandah and carport, burst into swathes of fairy lights. We stood silently, agog. Casper said, “fark me! Who’s ya mum, Martha Stewart?”

Ethan opened the creaking pine door and flicked the inside lights on.

Max dumped his bags. “Christ on a bendy bus”, he said. Reclaimed timber, and a heated slate floor, was accompanied by plump sofas and a huge wood fire. You get the idea, right?

“It’s going to get nippy so I’ll get the fire on,” said Ethan, always the master of understatement.  Ethan coaxed the cold fireplace in to a cosy blaze, “Yeah, mum uses this to film her cooking show so she can claim it as a deduction.”

After a dinner of fish and fine white wine, we took a walk up the hill, topped by a rocky outcrop. We cracked open some ciders, and looked deep into the starry southern sky.

Around 2am, we finally crawled in to beds that were like little bits of finely curated cloud.

The Weekend:

We drove around the thousand-acre farm, spreading alpaca pellets with gay abandon. We swam in the pond, and collected honey from the hives. We ended the day by taking some horses to the top of the mountain for some satisfying selfies. The view was mesmerising.

Had our entry level Compass been a 4X4 Jeep, we’d have taken that instead, but alas, front-wheeler just wasn’t going to cut the mustard.

The final morning dawned, and we awoke to thundering rain. The heavens had opened with a biblical downpour.

“We’d better get our skates on, or we’ll need to paddle out. The creek comes up fast,” said Ethan. Ethan’s slightly panicked face had the look of a puppy heading to the vet.

We ran about like housewives at the Boxing Day Sales, but it was all for naught, the ford was now under metres of raging flood.

We were forced to use the long way round, but it only added to the magic of a thoroughly satisfying adventure.

The Car:

The long way home added 2 hours to the trip.

So, here’s what we all thought of the car:

Alan:

2.4L is just not enough, and the 6-speed auto doesn’t cut it.

With either the AWD, or 4X4 model, we’d have made better use of our car. I’d like to see softer ride too, but the optional sunroof was a hit with the boys.

Ethan:

I like the looks. Black wheels get nicely grubby in the mud but clean up really well. The back seats are a bit hard, and the steering is too light. I love Apple CarPlay, and the sound is awesome. I like a slightly pinker shade of grey thanks.

Having said all that, I prefer my old Classic Range Rover, I just do.

Casper:

We really packed the the old girl full. There was plenty of room for our stuff, but I thought the rear leg room was a bit too snug. I’d like to try a bigger Jeep. The economy wasn’t all that brilliant, but the cabin was nice and quiet.

Max:

Mum had a Grand Cherokee that was always in the shop.

This smaller SUV is more my style, but when I’ve finished dad’s Mustang, that will be my daily driver. I’d be happy to have this meanwhile. Jeep, are you listening?

Conclusion:

Once I’d dropped the last of the boys off, I had some time to think about our journey. There was more than enough room for 4, but 5 would have been tight. Luggage weighed down the Compass, and with a full load on, the 2.4L engine felt sluggish.

The AC kept us just so, once the boys stopped playing with it, and we managed the trip without refuelling.

I liked the looks, and the price was right. The boys didn’t want to be in the film, sadly. They look great in their country get-ups. With that, our film stars yours truely.

The question is, would I buy this over a Korean?

Price:

$36,950

Engine: 2.4L 4cyl (non turbo)

Power: 129kw/229Nm

Econ: 7.9L/100k claimed (9.9 achieved)

CO2: 190g/k

Trans: 6sp auto

TAGS:

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