The New (ish) Mercedes-Benz S-Class is An Updated Big German Barge

Mercedes-Benz just hit the 140-year mark since Carl Benz invented the motor car, and they aren’t celebrating with Bienenstich. Instead, they’ve overhauled the S-Class, swapping out over 50 per cent of the car to make sure it stays the king of the luxury hill. 2,700 parts were binned or bettered to keep the benchmark exactly where it belongs. Yet, as the class of car is well on the wane, Mercedes-Benz reckons they’re the shizz.

The look is even more in your face. Sharper and less apologetic? So they claim, but it looks like more of the same to me. You get a 20 per cent larger grille that glows, plus an optional illuminated star on the bonnet because subtlety is for the peasants. The new Digital Light headlamps use micro-LED tech to create an impressively blinding light with 40 per cent more light. It reaches a startling 600 metres ahead. That is roughly six football fields of visibility that didn’t exist before.

Inside, the current MB technology is slathered with gay abandon. God forbid the screen ever dies (and rest assured it will sooner or later). The dashboard is a slab of glass called the MBUX Superscreen, running the new MB.OS supercomputer. This isn’t some laggy tablet glued to a dash. It is a purpose-built ecosystem that manages everything from the suspension to your Spotify. The AI assistant now uses ChatGPT and Google Gemini, meaning you can actually talk to the car like a human. It remembers what you said two minutes ago and won’t make you repeat yourself like a broken record. Well, that’s the claim anyway.

For the big knobs in the back, the S-Class is a boasty-pants private jet with wheels. The First-Class rear compartment is a rolling boardroom, featuring 13.1-inch screens and HD cameras for Zoom or Teams meetings. If you are done with work, you can pleasure yourself with Disney+ and feel the lusty bass through your spine via the Burmester 4D sound system. There is even a heated seat belt that hits 44°C, because apparently, normal heaters aren’t enough for a chilly morning. And yes, that is just something else to go wrong. Let’s ask Mercedes how many of these sexy accessories are via subscription and watch the staff choke on their justifications.

Performance hasn’t been ignored. The 395kW, 750Nm V8 in the S 580 4MATIC is an unsubtle reminder that dinosaurs are not dead as far as being incinerated is concerned. Plug-in hybrids have 100 km of pure electric range, and every engine gets a 17 kW boost from an integrated starter-generator. Stop-start transitions are so smooth you won’t even feel them.

ABOVE: The new Mercedes-Benz S-Class from all angles

The BGB (Big German Barge) uses Car-to-X data, and the suspension sees speed bumps before you hit them and adjusts the damping to make them disappear. If you find yourself in a tight spot, the 10° rear-axle steering shrinks the turning circle by two metres, making this limousine as nimble as a hatchback in a crowded city. This is one of the many fancy features only available by subscription in some markets, yet it comes standard on IM5 and IM6. Pick your game up, Mercedes.

Safety includes up to 15 airbags and a drive assist suite that handles urban traffic for you. For those with actual enemies, the S 680 GUARD version offers VR10 protection, the highest civilian rating for ballistic safety. It is a V12-powered fortress that still looks like a regular car.

If you want to make it personal, the Manufaktur programme offers 150 paint colours and 400 interior options. For many shekels, you can tick boxes to your heart’s content. This is the S-Class of the digital age. With the passenger car market shrinking year on year, are we looking at the last S-Class ever?

Model	Engine	Power (kW)	Torque (Nm)	0-100 km/h	Fuel (L/100km)*	Price (MRLP AUD)**
S 450 4MATIC	3.0L I6 Petrol	280 kW	560 Nm	5.1 sec	8.8 L	$251,600
S 580L 4MATIC	4.0L V8 Petrol	395 kW	750 Nm	4.0 sec	10.6 L	$342,500
S 580 e PHEV	3.0L I6 + Elec	430 kW	750 Nm	4.4 sec	0.7 – 2.1 L***	~$330,000
Maybach S 680	6.0L V12 Petrol	450 kW	900 Nm	4.5 sec	14.0 L	$576,600
S 680 GUARD	6.0L V12 Petrol	450 kW	830 Nm	N/A	19.5 L	~$1,000,000+

Dimensions and Capacity

• Wheelbase: 3,106 mm (Standard), 3,216 mm (Long)
• Overall Length: 5,179 mm (Standard), 5,289 mm (Long)
• Boot Space: 540 Litres (ICE), 326 Litres (PHEV)
• Electric Range (PHEV): 103 km (WLTP)
• Turning Circle: 12.5 metres (reduced to 10.5 metres with 10° rear-axle steering)
• Airbags: Up to 15 (including rear-seat belt bags and front-centre airbag)

Key Technology Confirmed

• MB.OS Supercomputer: Water-cooled, powering the MBUX Superscreen and Level 3 autonomous driving functions.
• Flat-Plane Crank V8: New for the S 580, offering faster response and a more refined, higher-revving character.
• Intelligent Damping: Uses Car-to-X cloud data to prep the suspension for speed bumps before the wheels touch them.
• Heated Seat Belts: Part of the new thermal comfort package, warming to 44°C.

• Other GayCarBoys EV Stories:

  • The Trouble with Electric Car Charging-Polestar 2
  • 2022 Polestar 2 Dual Motor Review
  • Polestar 2’s Android Google Operating System Top 10 Tips
  • Polestar 2 VS Tesla Model 3
  • Polestar 2 Where Its Google OS is Star-Trek-Meets-Car-Trek
  • How Much and How Long to Charge My Polestar 2?
  • We drive 2019 Jaguar I-Pace SE EV400 Electric car
  • 2023 IONIQ5 Epiq VS 2023 Genesis GV70 Electrified IS ONE BETTER?
  • 2021 Hyundai IONIQ 5 EV Review
  • KIA’s EV6 is Finally Here: What a Cracker! FULL REVIEW
  • 2021 KIA Niro EV, PHEV and Hybrid First Drive

---

Written by Alan Zurvas

Alan Zurvas is the founder and editor of Gay Car Boys, Australia's leading LGBTQI+ automotive publication. Before launching GCB in 2008, Alan's automotive writing was published in SameSame.com.au and the Star Observer. With over 16 years of hands-on car reviewing experience, Alan brings an honest, irreverent voice to every review — championing value and innovation over brand loyalty.