New vehicles come loaded with tons of techy goodness, not only for convenience, but for safety.

1: Apple CarPlay

By far, my most loved advancement is Apple CarPlay.

The first experience was in a shiny new VW Golf, one unlikely to be repeated with the recent revelation that GayCarBoys was no longer to have access to VW group reviews. Volkswagen’s roof was reported to be “on fire”, but the only reason given was that the publications who access press cars was “reviewed”. Gay readers apparently don’t make the cut. Keep that in mind when you next buy a car.

Back to phone connections: Android users have enjoyed similar advantage, but wireless Android Auto does not seem to have had the same climb to fame, or is it infamy?

Wireless CarPlay has become ubiquitous, and thought it allows voice control, is designed to be used with a touch screen. The Mazda CX-5 in last week’s test had no touch screen. You have to fumble about in her gusset to find the knobs and buttons and anyone unfamiliar will spend a great deal of time with eyes off the road. There are no audio controls beyond what’s on the steering wheel, and even those share function depending on what menu you are in.

Video Review: 2023 Mazda CX-5 touring Review – Is the CX-5 worth the money? #gaycarboys

2023 Viofo A119 Mini 2 dashcam unboxing and review

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ABOVE: In-car technology

2: AEB

Autonomous Emergency Braking started modestly, with radar identifying objects in front, limited mainly to cars and trucks within certain speed limits. If seen, the computer chucks out the anchors to avoid banging into things. AEB can now see cyclists, pedestrians, other vehicles turning at intersections, and has been incorporated into the wider safety and driver assistance suite.

Something to keep in mind: There are more than double the number of cars on the road now compared to when I got my license sometime in the distant past, yet the number of maiming’s are somewhat less. Technology works, and those who say otherwise, are wrong.

AEB-in-reverse has saved many code-brown moments from being total disasters.

3: Lane Departure and centering

Some find this feature to be intrusive, yet it makes long drives less stressful. Some just hate change, but embracing it is fun. Wafting along at 110kph letting the system do the hard work still amazes me to this day. Unlike the automated parking which gets little use, lane departure has made life better.

We will depend on it with self-driving cars, but despite videos of yobbos sitting in passenger seats with no driver, it is not currently kosher.

Apart from one or two experimental spots in far-flung tech parks, self-driving cars are not a thing, even Teslas. The Tesla website and user guide scream in big- blousy letters, “Driver Aid Only.” If you let go of the steering wheel, your Tesla turns off the “Auto Pilot” for the duration of the trip.

4: Over the Air Updates

I have a love/hate relationship with little SIMs built into cars. Some car makers have the temerity to use the system to rent you features like heated seats, heated steering wheels, and wireless Apple CarPlay. For something that comes free in a base model Honda, I refuse to be price-gouged by a German, and that’s flat.

After the free period, usually the length of you warranty, over-the-air-updates become a subscription-only item. It brings you tasty little gifts in the form of added performance, navigation updates, and bug fixes.

5: Adjustable suspension

Something that changes with your mood is a thing of beauty. Fancy suspension is brilliant when it works properly but costs a bomb when it goes wrong, Nuff said.

6: Digital Dash

No list would be complete without the marvels of the digitally enhanced dashboard. A marvy suite of LCD loveliness now spreads across the front of many cars, becoming ever-more useful, and much fancier.

The driver is biggest beneficiary, with the instruments being presented as data on an nifty inbuilt tablet. The windscreen uses Head Up Display, an LCD projection in the style of a fighter jet, to put driving data right in front of your eyes. The same people who don’t like most other new in-car tech will probably turn this off. What absolute knob-heads.

Finally, the centre screen has become a hub. Once cars were lucky to have a radio let alone a fully formed infotainment system. Here, music and video, as well as settings in phone connections can be found.

When I first started driving, most cars didn’t have power steering, air conditioning, power disc brakes or power windows. Think yourself lucky.

7: Radar Cruise Control

Combined with auto steering, this brilliant system works on the highway or in city traffic. It slows the car or speeds it up. It monitors things a distracted driver might miss and is something I use with gay abandon.

8: Electrification

Full electric cars are the bomb. Australia was held back a decade by fossil-fuelled anti-renewable policy mania. The same people are still fighting this innovation and will do until they drop.

There is simply no argument against it, so start pissing or get off the pot.

A hybrid is a good in-between step but still relies on a petrol station. On morals alone, burning oil and coal will be viewed by historians as less than ideal, if there are any humans left to study history of course.

9: USB connections

This feature is overlooked, yet is something we now could not live without. The more the merrier.

10: 3600 cameras

This useful bit of kit can be employed even when not parking. Use it to make sure there is no one around you before you get out, especially if you’re of a particularly nervous disposition.

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